When we lost us, we lost our children too……
In our time, running in the school corridors, not standing properly while the national anthem was being played, and talking to the teacher without raising a hand were considered as juvenile crimes.
Or, being late for the Eid prayer, reaching out for a few candies while collecting candy, running after cars were spoken of as juvenile delinquency. What has happened to us that, as juvenile crimes, cutting his mother, threatening his father with a gun, burning a car on the street, skewering his teacher on the corner, stealing by waving at the security camera are now on the record?
Were those kids different or these kids different?
Were those parents different, were these parents different?
Were the training methods of that day different, or the training methods of today?
Where are we going wrong?
What we do is that those innocent-faced cute children growing up next to us become poisoning our world after a while.
In this book, a candle is lit to find the answers to these questions.
In child upbringing, mistakes that are thought to be right are faced.
Maybe everyone is facing themselves…
Because where we lost ourselves, we also lost our children, we know…
Preface
You know, they say it's my first eye pain...
Well, this book you are holding in your hands is one of the first books of my writing journey.
It was years ago...
I had a lot to share, about child education...
A voice inside me said, "You should write, you should share what you know about the child." says another, "What will happen if you write, who reads?" He objected...
There were notes I had taken since my university years, wouldn't it be a pity, nor had I collected them with care to share with my parents... I had observations that I had gained in Europe for many years, things to say and criticize were piling up in my mind... there were exciting information that I got from our cultural resources... Mevlânâs, Dolphins, Hacı Bektaşlar, Itriler, Haime Mothers... We had methods on how the Istanbul gentleman was brought up... He had the most precious treasures of man, such as compassion, mercy, embarrassment, and modesty. it is almost forgotten today... There were scientific articles, researches, books that I read... Moreover, I was a father; I had my mistakes in raising children, the pain of my mistakes, the joy of my truths to share...
Maybe I started to get to know the child without realizing it... The child was not a "troublemaker" as it is thought, but a weak person struggling to be human... His only support was his parents, the community of adults he would live in...
However, false images of the child created the illusion that he would be trained "like a cat"...
It had been forgotten that it was a world of emotions. For example, the child was humiliated... He was scolded for a request he made wrong, you were wrong and not knowing what the truth was yet... It was not noticed that the child could have a world of emotions.
Adults were punishing him when necessary to "make him a man" and using violence to "make him smart". And I found the boy in this noise, dazed, looking left and right.
I hurt...
I should have helped the boy, but how...
How could I change the child's misrecognition... Parents were ashamed of their children's childish behavior in the presence of their own friends... The society was also embarrassing the parents by saying, "Look how he raised a child..." I should have tried to explain that the boy was not something to be ashamed of, that he was a rookie little person...
I don't know who would listen to me... What could I say to adults today, when it's not a shame to try to educate a child with punishment, it has become a tradition?
Well... I should have written it... and here's this book you're holding in your hands, and I've clumsily penned it.
At first I was very strange, "What is this man saying?" saying...
I was criticized... I felt alone in front of a huge society...
But day after day, "Don't be afraid, the child is fine." Those who believed in his word made themselves good with the child when they started to be friends with the child... It was a different pleasure to be a child with a child. If they tasted it, they offered a hand to other parents saying "come and be a child too"...
A "child friendly" story has started in our country...
Looking back, the water little information book sold over 100,000 copies; more importantly, I see that the books I write afterwards build the courage.
It is exciting to talk today that "trying to be a man with punishment" is not the only and valid education method...
The child is a cherished guest, to stay "for a while" in the parents' house... When that process is over, the guests leave the house. When parents come back and remember how they treated their cherished guests, they shouldn't be embarrassed, they shouldn't feel shame or regret...
Whoever respects his saintly guest and guides him to learn the world voluntarily, he wins his child...
With the desire to live in a world where acquired children exist...
CONTENTS
thanks 9
Preface 11
Embryo Psychology 15
What is genetic character? 15
psychological character 16
Embryo psychology 16
Secret Between Mother and Child 19
The importance of the first hours 21
The characteristics of the child are recorded in the subconscious 21
skin, eyes, smell 22
Is Breast Milk Necessary? 25
breast milk 25
Breast milk, everything for the baby 27
Breast milk prevents cancer 29
The connection of breast milk with oral health 29
Breastfeeding and the adaptation process 30
A Child Should Get Love When He Needs It 33
love when needed 34
Moms stuck between the office and the nursery 35
Emotional intimacy 36
Nursery or grandma? 36
That's Why Some "Spoiled" 39
Being "disliked" 40
The absence of mother's love
It also leads to not being able to love their children 40
One must be able to face oneself 41
Irrelevant Child Syndrome 43
Risk for some mothers 43
What should be done? 44
"Adomic" Parents 47
Addiction or inability to prepare for social life? 48
As the child makes mistakes, he gains experience 49
A few dangers awaiting the child of the dependent parent 50
"Addiction" brings chaos, "attachment" brings peace 51
Pink Dads, Shrewd Moms 53
Being a mother like a mother and a father like a father
The father is the representative of authority in the family 54
Mother is the representative of compassion, the balance element 55
Not "Friends"; Dad Like "Daddy" 59
Where are the fathers now? 60
Very intense dad fashion! 62
Behavioral disorders are seen in fatherless children 62
Are Child Education and Child Education the same? 65
Is a well-educated child well-trained? 65
So what is "child discipline"? 66
No "Child Dressing" Without Recognition 69
The story of Şahin's transformation into a cowardly crow 69
Rediscover your child 71
Should success or failure be the measure? 73
The mother knows the child best 74
Is a Smart Well-Being Child a Well-Behaved Child? 77
Remember The Child Is A Child! 81
Play is an Important "Work" for the Child 87
The game is not the game 88
"Come on, go play some!" 89
To stall or to play? 90
Playing with a child takes skill 90
The child is the master of the game he plays 91
The game is aimless 91
Adem Not fashionable, child-friendly toy 92
sun ^ less than moon 93
up to 2 years 93
after 3 years 93
3-5 years old 94
6-8 years old 94
9-11 years old 95
12 years and over 95
The Real Danger Is Not A Toy Gun 97
Abnormal behavior is transmitted quickly 98
The sign of the broken points in the child's world 99
How should children be kept away from toy guns? one hundred
Virtual Games Lead to Violence 103
"I will kill all of you!" 104
"half-real" life with virtual responsibility 105
Virtually Transmitting Mental Illness 109
internet technology is not innocent 110
Parents beware 111
Don't Quench Your Child's Anger 113
Anger regulates social life 114
Anger protects children from abuse 114
Isn't it harmful if anger is not prevented? 115
Anger is poison, conscience is the antidote 116
Conscience and anger balance 117
The child is the echo of the parents 119
Parents' conscience is the seed of children's conscience.
Excuse kills conscience 121
Sensitivity feeds the conscience 123
Lying Is Conscience Conscience 125
Lying stems from the need to protect the personality 125
Lying is a learned behavior 128
Children's world and lie 129
What should be done about the child who lies? 130
Fear and Preparation for Life in Children 133
Fear is a natural process.
horror rehearsals 134
Sex Education or Privacy Education? 139
Unwanted pregnancy and fear of contagious disease 141
What is the difference between sex education and privacy education? .... 142
Privacy Training 147
Basic Behavior Reflex at what age and
How should it be introduced? 148
Sister is "Kuma" of Sister 153
jealousy is in his blood 153
Destroyed emotions initiate jealousy 154
Treating children equally breeds envy 154
Injustice breeds envy 156
Injustice, distrust;
insecurity also triggers jealousy 156
Loss of status and jealousy 157
Age difference between children plays a role in jealousy 157
"He has eyes just like his father" 158
Is My Child Active or Hyperactive? 161
What is ADHD? 161
What are the salient features of ADHD? 162
How does ADHD occur? 163
Is there a cure for ADHD? 164
One last piece of advice
Mom, Where Is God? 167
The bogeyman growing in the subconscious 168
If there is God in every heart, how many "He"? 169
Don't Scare Your Child With Allah 171
Challenging Process: Toilet Training 175
Toilet training brings mother and child closer
Toilet habit is mostly psychological 179
What can be done in practice? 179
